I woke up this morning after only maybe 3 and a half hours of sleep. I remembered why I only had that little amount of sleep and I was immediately pissed off and angry again before the day even started. I got myself together, packed my power bar and yogurt although I'm very depressed, angry, tired and pissed today so I was doubtful about even managing to eat any food. I also feel even worse because it's officially December 1 and I was looking forward to being happy and excited over that fact because it's very close to Christmas. I got to work and opened up the first day on the Starbucks advent calendar I bought two weeks ago from Starbucks to use when I'm at work. I am so upset that I didn't even want to eat the first piece of chocolate that came from the calendar. I didn't know what to do with it so I flung it into my chocolate basket I figured if it's still there Monday maybe I'll eat it, if not someone else will enjoy it. I really don't want to be upset like this the only thing it's good for is the possibility of losing a few pounds from lack of appetite. Then those pounds immediately get put back on again when I'm emotionally back to normal and I can actually eat again. I wish I could lose weight in a normal healthy way. I did manage to eat my yogurt at lunch, no matter what I still will drink my coffee. When I bug out like this for whatever reason I can't get food down, my stomach is in knots I can get some yogurt down because I don't actually need to chew it.
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